“…the Last Homely House…a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear, and sadness.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Is such a house simply a fairy-tale? That it be ‘perfect’ is indeed beyond the reach of the households that we make and live in. Ours will always be marked, at least to some extent, by suffering and fear, by conflict and weariness.
Yet then again, so was the house described in the story. Perhaps even a ‘perfect’ house in this world should not be expected to be beyond such things. A major reason the Last Homely House was subject to such things was that there was great conflict in society at large. A household can never be beyond the reach of the travails of broader society. Such is not conceivable for us social animals.
The sufferings and travails of society will to some extent always be ours too, and this is fitting. A household in the end is never a place of escape and refuge, walled off from the realities of what is going on ‘out there.’ We will suffer with and perhaps for our fellow citizens, in good times and especially in bad.
But nonetheless, our house can be a bastion of wholesomeness, of truly human life, and of reality—in the truest sense. And this whether a new couple household, a bustling children household, an elderly household, or a household of one.
The issue is: where is our heart, where is our focus? We can put first things first, and incarnate that conviction in the daily structures of life in our home. It requires being intentional, in part precisely because the gathering clouds—not to mention the storms already raging—can overshadow and overwhelm us unawares.
Now is the time for men and women, young and old, to refocus on the basic and simple things. Food times. Story times. Singing times. Sitting and thinking times. And good-work times. These call for attention, and deep cultivation. Yes, it won’t be ‘simple.’
But we will be surprised. We set out to do right by those we love—turning to these human things that we owe to them and to ourselves. And by an inexorable law our efforts are always blessed; and lo, even in the midst of it all, we have crafted something that is a genuine cure for weariness, fear, and sadness. For us and ours, and for those who happen to pass through. And in this sense it is perfect.
J.R.R. Tolkien (1892-1973), English, professor, poet, and author. His fictional works are among the best-selling books ever published.
Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.
Thank you for these words. I just finished rereading the hobbit for The Who-knows-how-manyith time, and I love their stop in Rivendell, but I never made the thought connection that I could make my house like that. Thank you.
Thanks Thomas, I hadn’t really thought of it either, until this time reading it again…
So good!!
I find this impossible since the people who share this space with me refuse to act as family. It’s more as if we just share the same mailing address. All my efforts as family are rebuffed, contradicted and dismissed. It’s so lonely being a “family of 1” in the midst of others.
Estelle, That is heart-breaking, and I can only imagine your pain. If I may be bold to offer this thought: your good efforts, even if they seem to have no effect, will never be without fruit. We know not now what that fruit will be. You face a great suffering; as do others like you in similar circumstances. You are, dare I say, in a unique position to give witness to the things that matter. Even as you are rebuffed. With prayers and earnest sympathy, John
I love that advice!
Excellent!
Thank you, Dr. Cuddeback, for the true, and timely reflection. To your excellent domestic list of food, story, sitting, thinking, and work, I would like to add visual beauty. We must surround ourselves and especially our children with good works of art, beautiful and well-illustrated books, beautiful instruments, beautiful furniture, even if dinged up and worn – perhaps all the better for that as it bespeaks life. Our homes should be comfortable and welcoming shrines of simple beauty. We must reject the idea that gives exaggerated importance to function at the expense of beauty. This should be a priority and it can absolutely be done on a tight budget.
Stephen, Thank you for this! I couldn’t agree more. There are different aspects of ‘beauty’ in the home, and they are wonderfully interconnected, aren’t they?
This is so good, so true! You have a way of putting life in a proper perspective.
From one who loves her Homely House filled with memories and memorabilia of ‘a bustling children household’ and now bustles with grandchildren visiting this elderly household . . . MANY THANKS!!
What a blessing, Candy! May your Homely House have many more memories yet to come!
Estelle,
Yes, follow the good Doctor’s wise advice and acknowledge your beautifull-providential-name.
Like a star you are to bring beauty, subtle and quiet, but surely bright to your family.
On a practical note: try placing a fresh flower, preferably small & picked in your neighborhood, in your family’s common area on a consistent bases.
We can all disagree about so much but picked flowers are non threatening.and the momentary reality of each blossom may stir a soul..
I lived in St. Paul (MN) for 13 years, and part of that time I spent earning a Master’s in Catholic Studies at the University of St Thomas there.
Happily, there were a group of us who met to read and discuss the Lord of the Rings regularly. Because my & my roommate’s house, was closest to the UST campus, we hosted these gatherings. Also because of our location, our place got nicknamed “the Last Homely House of the West.” ????????
MargoB, How lovely. I’m sure your house deserved the name!
Reminder: No mention of a screen in the homely house. Less screen time = better home life. No screen time opens many beautiful opportunities.