“… surely every care should be taken on behalf of our own children’s mother…”
Aristotle, Economics

It can seem a flaw in nature’s plan. Those that attend most to the needs of others—especially children, and the weak and suffering—often want for such attention to their own needs. I think here of course of women.

You can see how this happens. A man feels that all is well in the world, finding himself and his children the object of his wife’s special care. He finds she has a feel, a greater sense for this; even more, she often has a greater willingness. It seems so good and right, we don’t really stop and take stock. We miss what should not be missed.

She didn’t have to do this. And we can and should learn from her, and grow to be more like her, even when beyond our comfort zone or what we expected to have to do. Here is a dramatic reality: even when we do learn from her and join her in caring for others (such as our children!), we can still miss what is right before our eyes, something she might never point out.

She deserves to be the object of an attention every bit as attentive and caring as the attention she gives others.  And she deserves it from her husband. She, my beloved, has consented to be my wife, which effectively removed her from the direct care of all other people in her life. Caring for her is now my sacred obligation and privilege.

I worry that even among those who greatly value marriage and childbearing, the good health and well-being of wife and mother can slip from the forefront of attention. Where it belongs.

Every care should be taken—to the extent it is within human control—that all her needs be carefully attended: physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual. Husbands need to make this the special object of our intention, deliberation, and action. Who else will?

This demands much of us. It will require a spirit of self-sacrifice, sometimes in non-obvious and difficult ways . Too many women, too many wives, are not the object of such care, even from those who truly do care for them. But we can start again, and rediscover the fuller gift of being man and wife.


Related reading:

Join the Community.

Become a LifeCraft Member and gain access to our online courses and exclusive content. It's FREE of charge. Period.

If you join as a contributing member, you will help make this content available to an increasing audience and enable me to spend more time in this work. I thank you in advance.

Join the LifeCraft community today and get access to:

  • Man of the Household (Course)
  • Woman of the Household (Course)
  • Concepts Made Clear (Mini-course)
  • Dinner at Home (Mini-course)
Ordinary Means for an Extraordinary Holiday Season

Ordinary Means for an Extraordinary Holiday Season

“We must also remember that no metamorphosis since pre-historic times is in any way comparable to the metamorphosis that we are now undergoing.” “[Man is] a creature which is not only capable of gratuitous acts but of which it can be said that such acts are this...

read more
Presence when Absent: A Husband’s Gift

Presence when Absent: A Husband’s Gift

“The beloved is said to be in the lover… [even] in the absence of the beloved, because of the lover’s longing towards…the good he wills to the beloved with a love of friendship.” Thomas Aquinas One thing my marriage has taught me is that really ‘being-present’ to...

read more
Does Everyone Need an Obi-wan?

Does Everyone Need an Obi-wan?

“And if someone dragged him away from there by force, up the rough, steep path, and didn’t let him go until he had dragged him into the sunlight, wouldn’t he be pained and irritated at being treated that way?” Socrates, Plato’s Republic We seldom reflect on a stark...

read more

Pin It on Pinterest