I have written on this before, and I plan to write on it again. I know I will never sufficiently understand it in this life, but I will keep trying. I’m talking about what a woman does in a home.
Herein is a primordial revelation about how God loves us, and consequently it takes us to the very heart of human life. Who are we, where do we come from, is life worth living, and if so, why? What a woman does in a home speaks directly to all these questions.
Do I exaggerate or am I wide of the mark? I am convinced otherwise. Am I ignoring or denigrating the role of man? Far from it. Given the shared project of forging a household—a project that springs immediately from both the nature and supernature of marriage, seeing the glory of one of the complementary agencies is essential to seeing the glory of the other.
A central feature of man’s role of taking first responsibility in marriage is precisely how it makes possible and animates what a woman does in a home. This too is a worthy object for unending reflection, but it is not my focus here. God grant that both men and women come to understand the astounding subtlety and beauty of the natural lines of what they are called to do. Together.
I find in Willa Cather’s novel Shadows on the Rock a profound expression of this reality. In a little household in colonial Quebec, an ailing mother seeks to form her young daughter for when she has passed on, training her so that “the proprieties would be observed, all the little shades of feeling which make the common fine.” Of the ‘individuality’ and ‘character’ of that home, we read, “though it appeared to be made up of wood and cloth and glass and a little silver, [it] was really made of very fine moral qualities in two women…”
Cather also offers these unforgettable words about what a woman does in a home:
“These coppers, big and little, these brooms and clouts and brushes, were tools; and with them one made, not shoes or cabinet-work, but life itself. One made a climate within a climate; one made the days,–the complexion, the special flavor, the special happiness of each day as it passed; one made life.”
I find this utterly astounding. In her home, a woman can make a climate within a climate; make the special happiness of each day; make life!
We must be careful here not to conflate what she does with how she does it. Her tools can take a hundred different forms, even while given our unchanging human needs, those tools have a real similarity across the ages. Many of us miss the deeper reality, unable to see through the exterior forms to the inner soul of what she is doing. This is tricky and understandably challenging. It is like how one must look beyond the bodily beauty of woman to see something that far transcends the bodily, even while it is in-carnated in her body. Countless physical actions embody what a woman does in the home. But it is far from reduceable to those actions.
Lord, give us eyes to see. Give men and women the humility to embrace what promises little notice from others, the courage to keep going when it seems just too much, and the love that is the true root, the animating force, and the whole point of it all.
May we all discover in what a woman does in a home a revelation of the warmth and depth of the love in your heart, Lord. May we all do our part to enable it, to encourage it, to protect it. For it will be to Your, and to her, unending glory; and for the true happiness of all your people. Starting here and now, in our homes. ~ ~ ~
NEW PODCAST: WOMAN’S SUPERPOWER and WHAT IT DEMANDS OF HER. The feminine genius is complex. Perhaps its central feature is in making the home a place of unique life-giving power. But it cannot be taken for granted. It must be chosen and cultivated; and it comes with a price. John draws out Sofia regarding this breath-taking reality. Find and share all our podcasts HERE.
ANNOUNCING THIS SUMMER’S LIFECRAFT DAY: Making Home a Place to Start and End Life. Info and tickets here. We hope you can join us LIVE IN PERSON at an historic venue in the beautiful town of Front Royal. Saturday July 25th.
Image: from Rights and Brands, offering a new furniture line inspired by the original pieces by Karin & Carl Larsson. Karin Larson (wife of famous artist Carl) was known for using her exceptional artistic abilities to bring beauty to their family home.
Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.
Beautiful. Should be read by every man on Mother’s Day…and during the rest of the year.
Thank you, Bob. I love to remind myself of it.
Thanks
That weaving, plus the rug, make that room astounding.
Oh yes. My wife picked this image; we love this room.
You’re welcome, David.
Could you share where the picture was from? I would love to find a bigger version and study the details. It reminds me of Carl Larsson’s paintings of his home.
Yes; you might not have seen the photo credit at the end of the post. This is from a line of furniture inspired by the Larsson home.
Sofia, I was in tears from about 28:00 when you calmly and succinctly explained what it was that you saw as the superpower of women. Your firm but gentle explanation of what you, myself and countless other women are doing, have done in generations past and will be trying to do gave this act the reverence it deserves and needs. John, your humility and transparency about the whole topic, especially in your own experience as a couple and family is so appreciated. It also helped me see what my own dear husband has done for 28 years, especially as we unexpectedly raised our granddaughter Iris. The Secret of Roan Inish is a delightful film with real heart and it hits home differently now after all the years of giving my own heart to my family. Sofia, thank you for verbalising what I know I have chosen to do and why I no longer look back with regret. What a blessing God gave me by allowing me to be the wife, mother and grandmother and to use the talents He gifted me with in this.
Cate! Your words here mean the world to Sofia and me. This is such a profound reality, and somehow many women do not receive confirmation or affirmation of what they do, and so they doubt themselves and struggle to see and appreciate it themselves. May God grant that this comes more to light, and that more and more women and men see it and rejoice in it. Thank you so much. –John