“If he should try to indict me, I think I would find his weak spots and the talk in court would be about him rather than about me.” Plato, Euthyphro
“The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.” Proverbs
One reason to read great works is the opportunity to identify in the lives portrayed characteristics we want to have, as well as those we should avoid. Our reading can prompt self-examination, bringing to our attention what otherwise we would not see.
Plato’s dialogues are masterpieces in this vein. With my students I just re-read the dialogue Euthyphro, named from its main character, a man with a reputation for being wise and good. The reader soon discovers that while Euthyphro is serious about doing what is right, he has a notable flaw. This flaw perhaps most comes to the fore in the words quoted above—words that really jumped off the page for me this time.
In short, Euthyphro states what would happen if someone were to accuse him of being impious: the talk would then be “about him rather than about me.” How striking. Laid bare here for me is something of my own modus operandi.
To receive reproof or rebuke is never easy. Yet experience shows that to become the man I should be, reproof will be essential—including sometimes when it is offered ungraciously, or by those from whom I don’t want to hear it. And what is my classic move to counter or defuse the reproof? Shift the focus!
“Who are you to say…” “Here is where your reasoning is flawed…” “What about your own life…” “That was ungracious of you…”
And I do not hear. I do not take the opportunity to look at my own life. I go about my way, avoiding the self-examination that can be life-giving.
Proverbs calls reproof life-giving, when someone receives it. And such a person will dwell among the wise. Indeed, perhaps the voice offering reproof to me is more wise than I know; or maybe this voice is but an instrument of a yet wiser voice behind it.
Proverbs says further: “A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.” Oh to become a man of understanding, and to learn dwell among the wise. Where we belong.
Image: a portrait by Gari Melchers, American (1860-1932)
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Oh, did this hit home, a lesson in humility! When I was in high school, I made a dumb comment in class to my friend sitting next to me. The instructor (a religious Brother) heard it, and in his oblique but cutting manner, let me know how thoughtless it was. I skulked out of class when it was time and thought about it for the rest of the day. My first adolescent response was to try and justify my remark; but, deep down, I knew the instructor was correct and that, frankly, I needed to grow up, listen more, and speak more carefully. I may still “shoot first” and think later, but those moments are few and far between. Brother Laurence is still speaking in the back of my mind.
God bless Br. Laurence, and all those like him, as well as you, for being willing to listen.
“On desperate ground, I would proclaim to my soldiers the hopelessness of saving their lives. For it is the soldier’s disposition to offer an obstinate resistance when surrounded, to fight hard when he cannot help himself, and to obey promptly when he has fallen into danger.” Sun Tzu on the Art of War, 50-51, trans. Giles
They are the signs of these times, folly though they may be, to rebuke a man when he does what is virtuous and celebrate him when he does what is vicious.
Further, we appear to be in too short supply of such men of understanding as for whom reproof might resonate unto correction.
What greater blessing, than, a true mark of God’s closeness, than to be entrenched alone, cut off from supply, and surrounded only by one’s enemies?
For the Red Crown.
Thank you, John. While reading your post what came to mind is the humility required in the 12 Steps programs, specifically Steps 8 and 9. If you aren’t familiar, Step 8 is to make a list of those of those we have harmed and be willing to make amends (check this with sponsor of course). And then the real Step of humility, Step 9, which is when we make the amends, preferable face to face. The final step in that amends is to ask the person, “what do you have for me? Is there something I missed that you would like to address?”, and we sit and take it, accept it without excuse or reasoning or defense. We simply agree and then make the amend to that accusation. Humble pie! And what growth and peace. Significantly the most healing of the Steps. So yes to your accepting reproof with humility. A truly life-giving way of being.
Denise, This is an extremely powerful testimony. It teaches me something new, and it confirms again all the good I have heard about the twelve steps. Thank you very much.