Home is our workshop of life, and we are artisans. We discover, pattern and forge–for spouses, friends, children and others–the key features of a human life. In an unforgettable line, St. Benedict enunciates a key to the whole project: “Never despair of God’s mercy.”

In his Rule, one of the most influential documents ever written, St. Benedict offers in the fourth chapter a lengthy list of the ‘tools of good works.’ The book-ends of the list are significant. The first is to love the Lord with all one’s heart, and the last mirrors it by enjoining trust in his mercy.

The postscript of this list offers the image of practitioners of an art: “Behold these are the tools of the spiritual craft (artis spiritualis).” The monk’s workshop is the monastery; our primary workshop is our home. We share common principles and tools, and in both workshops there are masters and apprentices. A profound, challenging, and indeed defining feature of life in a home is that we practice our art precisely in and through forming others in it.

Benedict’s list of tools offers endless reflection for householders. The primacy of God’s mercy in this list highlights that some things never change. And yet it seems that our age calls especially for an emphasis on mercy, and so spouses, parents, and friends find herein a uniquely pressing commission for our time.

Do we pattern for one another a persevering—indeed might I say relentless—confidence in divine mercy? In all the vicissitudes of life?

We have an astounding prompt to reflect on God’s mercy in St. Thomas Aquinas’s answer to the question whether in every work of God there is both justice and mercy. In short, Aquinas says that God is always rendering what is ‘due’ to his creatures, and this is justice. But that anything be considered as ‘due’ to his creatures is rooted in something prior, namely, a pure generosity in God’s will. In other words, that God ‘owes’ anything at all to rational creatures presupposes that he has completely gratuitously willed to create rational creatures—when there was absolutely nothing due.

What sounds very abstract and removed from reality is in fact profoundly meaningful and directive for our everyday existence. Aquinas writes: “So in every work of God, viewed at its primary source, there appears mercy. In all that follows, the power of mercy remains, and works indeed with even greater force.”

In view of this astounding point, I think there are two general features we might note of how we can pattern mercy everyday in our homes. The first feature is what we most associate with ‘mercy’—forgiveness. There will always be forgiveness for those willing to seek it.

Surely, we pattern this first in our own confidence in seeking divine mercy. We are all sinners. Do we truly pattern for others—especially those closest to us—that wonderful combination of zeal for moral righteousness, sorry for how we have failed, confidence in divine forgiveness, and resolve to move forward in hope? It seems this is the first step in patterning confidence in divine mercy—that we act like our failings are encompassed by it.

Then there is showing mercy toward those who offend us and those who are suffering and in need. Mercy is always a generous, other-centered stance toward others in need, and it is enacted in alleviating their misery. Though mercy and forgiveness are not the same, forgiveness can be an act of mercy. Parents can mistakenly see leniency or not offering discipline as a form of mercy. But mercy never contradicts justice, even when it does transcend it. This must be sorted out. Here I simply raise ‘mercy’ as a key category in our regular interactions.

The second feature of mercy is highlighted in Aquinas’s reference to God’s mercy as pure generosity in love. How do I as a spouse, parent, and friend pattern such mercy? That is a very good question, worth a lifetime of pondering. One thing especially strikes me.

In consequence of the marriage vow one spouse owes much to the other. Likewise, parents owe much to their children, and friends to one another. But in the daily exercise of marriage, parenting, and friendship, without neglecting the importance of justice, I think the dominate note should be one of generosity: giving of self, without counting the cost.

Mercy normally shows up as the effort to alleviate misery—of which there is no better image than the Prodigal Father as he responds to his son’s return. Yet it seems Aquinas is suggesting that the main thing is the loving disposition at the root of that response. Consider the unspeakable beauty of what was in that Father’s heart as he stood lookout, day after day, for his son. Then one great day His mercy took flesh in the embrace of a returning son.

“In every work of God… there appears mercy. In all that follows, the power of mercy remains…”

Oh, that I might be more like my Father. And pattern for others His mercy. In my marriage, in my parenting, in my friendships. I can begin with that incomparable tool in our toolbox: Et de Dei misericordia numquam desperare. Never despair of God’s mercy. ~ ~ ~

NEW PODCAST: A MAN’S PART IN HOUSEWORK. Are dishes, laundry, and cleaning more of a woman’s work? Is it important for men to do such work in the home? If so, why? Join John and Sofia in considering an important and challenging aspect of making a household today. Find all our Intentional Household podcasts HERE.

Annual BETHANY WEEKEND: Rediscovering Human Nature: Principles for Thriving in an Inhuman Climate, August 2-3. SPECIAL FREE TICKETS FOR ONE COUPLE: due to the generosity of a benefactor, we have two tickets to offer to a couple for whom the cost would prevent attendance. Please apply HERE.

LIFECRAFT DAY at the BARN! ‘Doing Music and Dance Right in Our Homes and Communities.’ Come join us IN PERSON on July 19 and get a whole new perspective on music in the home, dancing at weddings, schools, and youth groups, and more! Due to a generous donor, tickets including dinner ONLY $10/person. Information and Registration HERE

John Cuddeback

Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.