“The courage of men is to command, so that no fear cause them to fail to order what should be done…”
Thomas Aquinas, Commentary on Aristotle’s Politics
To order what should be done. This is a rich and challenging notion. Aristotle and Aquinas are talking specifically about men—male human persons.
To command here means to give direction to and thus to shape human actions—either one’s own, or others’. Implied is a whole understanding of human actions as calling for the direction of reason in view of basic principles about the good life.
In all voluntary action there will be some ‘order.’ The big question is whether it is the right order. Are we doing ‘what should be done?’ What a simple and in a sense terrifying question! ‘What should be done’ is so rich, so beautiful, and sometimes so very difficult to grasp and to execute.
In Aristotle and Aquinas’s view, men have a special calling—and this shows up particularly in the household, though not there alone—to take responsibility for discerning and instilling right order: first in their own actions, and then in various ways in the life-context for which they are responsible. Such instilling of order is a way of serving, and it is essential to the exercise of all fatherhood.
If the traditional admonition to ‘be a man’ is rightly understood, it surely invites a man to overcome the obstacles to his fulfilling his great calling. Fear will often stand in his way.
We are unsure of ourselves. We fear our own weakness, and our own ignorance, especially since we are not sure how to go about this. We fear how others will interpret our actions and that we will be misunderstood. People might think we are overstepping our bounds or that we are claiming a role that is not ours. And of course, we fear what we will have to give up, which indeed can be much.
But courage, as all virtues, is ultimately a way of being most alive, of becoming our true selves. Manly courage is at the core of being a man. We can rediscover this. The happiness of many might depend upon it.
Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) is considered one of the greatest of medieval theologians. He called Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) ‘the Philosopher’ and wrote commentaries on all his major works.
Image: Leon Lhermitte (1844-1925), detail of Paying the Harvesters.
Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.
We cannot know his legendary head
with eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torso
is still suffused with brilliance from inside,
like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,
gleams in all its power. Otherwise
the curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could
a smile run through the placid hips and thighs
to that dark center where procreation flared.
Otherwise this stone would seem defaced
beneath the translucent cascade of the shoulders
and would not glisten like a wild beast’s fur:
would not, from all the borders of itself,
burst like a star: for here there is no place
that does not see you. You must change your life.
Rilke’s Archaic Torso of Apollo
“Never take council of your fears”
Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson
I suppose we’re not supposed to quote him anymore, but I will because here he was right. He did not mean that one should ignore danger; he, more than most, understood full well the dangers of life, and in particular the battlefield. What he meant was that one should not become paralyzed either into inaction, or into rash and unthinking actions, by your fears. Makes sense to me, and good words to live by.
Tom, I remember being moved by those words when I first heard them. Good words indeed, and I’m very happy to hear them again.
It does indeed take courage to make decisions. In most cases, this courage can be supported by 1) prayer, 2) the humility proper to a leader to listen to others, and 3) a determination to be forthright in deciding what is best (not for selfish interests). Sometimes it happens that a man’s wife has better observed the nuances of a situation, given it more thought, or better sees the consequences and how they affect others. This is especially true in the area of children’s needs, managing a household, and matters of relatios with others. And having her input would serve to help the man to make the best decision. Sometimes, it happens that, when a woman begins to offer her thoughts, she is brushed away as though she knows nothing and as though it is the man’s business alone to make the decision. But without listening to others, his wife or someone with more experience or know-how, the man may make a rash decision that brings grief or makes life hard for others. A man who chooses, without counsel or forthright consideration, and brings grief and trouble, acts not as a courageous man, but acts foolishly. Meanwhile, the man who listens can rest without fear of not having done his due diligence. He will have gathered what is necessary to consider for an informed decision. His decision is made in the best interest for all as is appropriate. And even if things go awry despite his efforts, he can know he did his best with what he was given and know that his actions are above criticism. He is a true leader, and a wise and good commander.
Mary, You make an outstanding point. A man who does not know how to listen, and to learn, from his wife is indeed failing in being a man. Indeed, such is perhaps often a failure in courage. A strong man and a strong woman are a great, harmonious complement to one another.