Few of us reach for our Swiss army knife when we simply want to cut something. Aristotle asserts that nature is not like the Delphic smiths, makers of the original Swiss army knife, “a single knife for all kinds of use,” a knife with which, clearly, he was not impressed. Rather, nature crafts things such that the primary ordination of the thing is not obscured or hindered by other tasks or purposes.
He says this when discussing the nature of woman. Nature has crafted woman in view of motherhood, and anything else—and there certainly is more in the life of a woman—is in a sense secondary or ancillary. It seems to me that this simple if somewhat odd-sounding point has three powerful implications when rightly considered.
First, the reality of motherhood provides a kind of icon or beacon in light of which all women at any stage of life can perceive their astoundingly beautiful identity and calling. Though not all women are or will be biological mothers, the reality of what it is to mother can be sought and achieved by any woman. This leaves no woman behind. This gives inspiration and direction to the formation of girls just as surely as to the life of the elderly, and every woman in between.
Second, to wives and mothers in families this provides a principle by which to deliberate and discern about all that they ‘take on’ in life. Mothering is not one project to integrate with other projects. It is the main principle of integration. It is the dominant and determining note in the harmony of life. Anything that would take away from or undermine mothering does not fit in a mother’s life. What ‘fits’ are precisely those things that in some real way ‘fit’ with mothering.
To be clear, this does not mean that something must be a direct act of mothering in order to fit in a mother’s life. Pursuing lessons in singing or some other art or craft, among countless other examples, is not an act of mothering. ‘How does this fit with being the mother I am called to be’ is the rubric that if at first it seems limiting, is ultimately a delineation that sets one free. Free to be oneself and fulfill one’s calling.
Finally, this approach can offer liberating insight to a mother who feels overwhelmed as a kind of Jack of All Trades. Or indeed, you feel like the proverbial Swiss Army Knife that does many things and none of them very well. But that is not who you are. Yes, you do many things, in some or even most of which you are not an expert. But these are gathered in a project that unifies all these things from above and from within, making them something wholly other. This is a project which you do very well, in which you are the expert; a project far richer than any or all of its parts. This is the incomparable gift of being a mother; a gift that in your receiving it, gives life to all around you. ~ ~ ~
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Nell O’Leary loves reminding people of their gifts and marvelousness. Her current work includes growing community for the Word on Fire Institute, contributing video content for Ascension Presents, promoting Friends of the Bridegroom, and writing content for the National Eucharistic Revival Newsletter. She is an attorney-turned-writer, speaker, editor, and community maker. She has contributed to over a dozen books, edited 40 books and over 3,000 devotional essays, and led thousands of women in finding and building community over the past two decades. She and her husband live with their five children in Saint Paul, Minnesota with lots of chai tea to keep her fueled. Find out more here.
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True that not all good knives are Swiss army knives. I suppose that not all good women can be biological mothers – I read somewhere that about 20% of women are naturally infertile.
Could these women do something else, or must they adopt?
Why is Aristotle given such authority? He is reported to have claimed that women have fewer teeth than men – this is true of female horses, but not for humans.
Many women have many talents; certainly motherhood is highly respected by those of us who have (or had) mothers, but so is the great contribution made by women using other talents.
Thank you for these two questions. First, can women do ‘something else?’ My thought: of course, if by something else we mean something other than biological motherhood. (Aristotle surely saw that too.) I tried to make clear in the first of my three points that all women can and should exercise a kind of motherhood. Just what this looks like is a rich issue, and it calls for ongoing reflection. But I think it’s an important starting point to be asking: just how might a woman exercise motherhood, just as surely as all men should seek to exercise a fatherhood. Second question, about Aristotle. While he certainly did not have a complete understanding of reality, including the nature of woman (!), he is nonetheless reckoned–and I think rightly–one of the wisest of philosophers. I take it to be important to be able to learn from such wise men, even while also learning to avoid their mistakes–something surely Aristotle himself would have us do. It’s also worth noting that he had a remarkably high estimation of woman compared to many of his time, and I think a great insight into the intrinsic, natural ordination of woman toward motherhood. Thank you again.
Yes. This is exactly right and beautifully said, striking the golden mean in a diabolically contrived false dichotomy, both sides of which are about equally intellectually impoverished (on the liberal end a knee-jerk reaction against letting the maternal instinct have any place at all in a consideration of one’s pursuits and on the conservative end a knee-jerk prejudice against, and labeling as soft-core feminism of, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING that might not look like The Officially Sanctifying Weary Grind.) One’s motherhood is the defining principle and theme in any artistic, intellectual or cultural pursuit, and an understanding of that is precisely what you say: authentically liberating. I work with men, challenge men, interact with men and make high-level art with men, but I do it as a WOMAN, and my motherhood is absolutely the first and defining asset I bring to the table. Motherhood is eternal vocation, whatever that may look like according to one’s avocation or the call within the call. It’s not just one thing I do in a balance of competing goods.
“The woman’s soul is fashioned as a shelter in which other souls may unfold.” – St. Edith Stein
I’m no expert on Edith Stein, but I do like this quote of hers and think it seems fitting here.
Woman can not only physically carry life, as in motherhood, but we also (those who aren’t mothers in the biological sense) have a spiritual kind of motherhood in which we ‘mother’ others by our creative and nurturing instincts.
Amen, Melisa; and this is real motherhood.
“‘ ‘How does this fit with being the mother I am called to be’“ is the quote I’m writing in my planner today. It’s a good one for prayer and discernment! Thank you!
That makes my day, Theresa. Thanks.
Spot-on as usual, Dr C. And a good reminder to many of us who are knee-deep in motherhood that whatever else we may have taken on (by choice or necessity), our families come first. God help us to do this one thing well.
Thank you, and Amen. Let us be united in prayer and discernment.