“If beams from happy human eyes have moved me not…”
Robert Louis Stevenson, A Message of Joy
For many of us, when and whether to wear a mask is a painful and divisive issue. Maybe in some places it is not; or maybe if we all had a better understanding of certain things it would not be.
One way or the other, the fact is that for many if not most of us, there will continue to be masked faces, either our own or those around us or both. I will not here in any way take up the issue itself of a need to wear masks. I want however to offer a thought—of course I am not the first to raise this—concerning how all of us might respond to this challenge of dealing with masked faces. First, we must recognize a significant aspect of the challenge, apart from any other issues.
Covering the human smile is itself a serious problem; we could say a crisis. Again, this point can and should be considered in itself, without prejudice to the issue of a medical need for masks. If for any reason we cover the smile—or more precisely the bottom half of the face that smiles—then, it seems to me, it is incumbent on us to take significant steps to counter or minimize the necessarily negative effects.
The most obvious means is that when we wear a mask, we can be intentional about being more communicative with our eyes. Indeed, it is fortunate that a broad smile includes and is perceptible through the eyes. We can act to accentuate this. Another means is by increasing verbal communication, beginning with greetings and other pleasant or polite exchanges of words. As these profoundly human practices had already tended to fall by the wayside, their restoration now becomes all the more urgent.
On the other side—and I think this is often overlooked—those not wearing masks can likewise do much, in the same ways just mentioned: being more intentional about positive facial cues and words. Again, the fact is that social interaction is being undermined. To a real extent it doesn’t matter whose ‘fault’ it is or which ‘side’ one is on. We are all in this together, and we all can do our part to address it.
Yes, in appropriate forums the discussion of whether to wear masks must continue—for it must be addressed. But I suggest that our daily interactions with others are not such a forum. There, we would all greatly benefit from not assuming a judgmental or adversarial attitude—as this can terribly exacerbate an already challenging situation.
Whether we are wearing a mask or not at various times and places, each and every one of us can be part of addressing an under-considered aspect of the present threat to human life and community.
Thomas Aquinas suggests something that dovetails with R. L. Stevenson’s musing on the unique power of ‘happy eyes.’ He says that shared human life consists especially in ‘seeing and being seen.’
Both how we see and how we are seen, in the daily course of life, is very much in our power. It remains largely a matter of choice, even and especially in trying times.
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I appreciate your suggestion that wearing a masks necessitates being more intentional about social interaction. I’ve found this an opportunity to smile as broad as I can at people, hoping they see the smile in my eyes, and to wave and speak greetings more often.
Angela, Amen. Broad smiling, which takes a little extra effort, will often be in order!
Dr Cuddeback, I’ve heard it called “shmizing” and love the
Term.
I love this because it helps us to transcend the tyrannical imposition of these masks. And I interject that point about tyranny not to divert from the points you’ve stripped this conversation down to, but to connect them to the evil that aims to dull our humanity and the notion that we nonetheless have the individual ability to counter it.
Masks have always been theater, and they very much are in this current context. They not only hide our identities but can significantly alter our behaviors, like an actor taking on a character or a perpetrator up to no good. For many people today, the theater of the mask indicates compliance, “love,” safety, responsibility, virtue. When I must wear a mask, however, I feel nearly invisible. I don’t make eye contact. I shuffle quickly in and out of spaces. I don’t feel at all like myself, but take on the persona of an exile, feeling unwanted and burdensome in my need for groceries, supplies, whatever. I believe my fellow men perceive me as a germ-laden threat. Interaction isn’t a natural response. It’ll take some willpower to overcome that.
I particularly worry about children, who study faces so intently and learn to distinguish a grimace from a smile–not so easy when all you see are eyes. Our faces are essential to our humanity and to how we relate to, size up, understand, and come to trust or distrust one another. The elemental bond between a mother and her baby originates and grows in great part because they gaze into each other’s faces.
Many of us have a special devotion to the Holy Face of Jesus. The FACE of Jesus. So precious, so important. Not all motives for covering faces are evil, but a great many are. Certainly Satan delights in this. So it is wonderful to be reminded of what is in OUR power.
Susanna, I find this a very penetrating and indeed moving comment. Your experience of feeling invisible, or as though you are a threat, resonates deeply with me. Indeed, it was in trying to reckon with how to deal with this challenge that moved me to write this piece. I for my part am committed to keep my focus on what I CAN DO to improve the situation, even while recognizing that there are certainly negative forces at work against our humanity! We are together in this. Thanks for the comment.
I couldn’t agree more with this thought, Susanna! In reading the Scripture passage recently about our bodies being a temple of the Holy Spirit I was struck by the particular tragedy of masks. Our bodies are God’s and when we cover our faces there is a very real way in which we cover God’s face!
As JP2 said, “the body and only the body is capable of making visible what is invisible, the spiritual and the divine.” Our most expressive body part is blotted out and we must use the other parts of us to negate that!
Susanna, I really appreciate your thoughts here, especially about the Holy Face of Jesus. And what is all of this doing to children in the long run, babies in particular? I believe it’s deeper and darker than we know.
Thanks for this perspective as I have been guilty of ignoring faceless people, walking right past them as if they were invisible. They seem to me to be anxiously avoiding any interaction more than wanting to communicate so that I’ve been surprised when I hear them mumble something, maybe a hello or possibly asking out loud why others are not as obsequiously obedient as they are.
Frank, I have been guilty of doing the same–being tempted simply to ignore people who seem intent on ignoring me. While respecting their desire to maintain distance, I resolve to try to overcome my negative feelings and convey human feelings toward them.
Words help, too.
It’s an unfortunate coincidence that the epidemic coincides with our having become less verbal in recent years.
The conference-call software used by my company displays emojis prominently. My colleagues at Siemens use them heavily to delineate gradations of meaning from light banter to real disagreement, sometimes sending an emoji even after making a spoken remark. I took notice when my boss sent me a frowning face for the first time two weeks ago. Maybe someone will soon market a mask that displays emojis.
When I wear a mask, I find myself thinking consciously that I need to use words that express friendliness. I don’t know, but I imagine it’s something like how a mildly autistic child is taught to express emotion.
Michael, Thanks for this. That’s perfect: “I find myself thinking consciously that I need to use words that express friendliness.”
Thank you for that. Could you tell me where in Thomas Aquinas I could read more about the little quote you give, on “seeing and being seen”? It piqued my interest!
Abigael, It piqued my interest too! And I intend to do a whole separate reflection on it and its implications. He writes it in his Commentary on the Book of Job–an absolutely treasure of a book–in the seventh chapter.
Thank you so much! I shall be reading his commentary then. And look forward to your further discussion on the matter.
I was also going to ask about that quote, until I saw this comment. I too look forward to future commentary on the topic of seeing and being seen. Thank you, Dr. Cuddeback!!
You’re welcome Caitlin. I intend to use that quotation in part to think about the diverse threats to authentic friendship today.
I hate wearing a mask but I have to or be completely quarantined (I already suffer from anxiety and depression so that’s not a viable option). I’ve always been graced with a few wonderful friends who I counted on as my support system. The masks and social distancing are both very harmful to us interiorly I believe. What are appropriate forums to discuss this??
Mary Beth, Unfortunately one of the hardest aspects of our current situation is precisely the difficulty in finding contexts for safe, rational discussion of these matters. The gift of rationality is itself under assault. My suggestion? Keep turning to those closest to you, and among them cultivate habits of honest, humble, courageous conversation aimed at discovering the truth and the best courses of action open to us. (And you’re always welcome to leave a comment here…)
To counter-act evil, we need to define it and discover it’s promoters.
In an article by Robert Reilly “The Music of the Spheres, or the Metaphysics of Music” the author relates the efforts of Arnold Schoenberg to de-construct tonality in music to Rousseau’s de-construction of the Aristotelian concept that nature defined what man is and what he should become. Rousseau asserted that man was NOT by nature a social or political animal endowed with reason. Rather, that development was accidental and a corruption of his original a-social and pre-rational state. He believed that authentic state to be un-recoverable but that an all powerful state could create a simulacrum of it by removing all man’s familial, social and political ties, thus making men independent of each other and totally dependent on the state. Alone Together.
Steve, I very much agree that it is important to go back to intellectual roots! There is indeed Rousseau-ian thought at work in our day. It is also the case that Marxist ideology seeks to weaken the ties of home and family and other social ties. I’m convinced that strengthening household-life is at the center of addressing the challenges of today.
Thanks so much for this piece. And for the discussion here in the comments. Really enjoy reading from Lithuania. Just yesterday for the first time I was reprimanded for not wearing a mask out in public. Even though I had thought so many times about the reasons why I prefer not to wear a mask unless necessary (to go into a grocery store, for example), I was caught off guard. “Does the requirement to wear masks not apply to you?” I was questioned. It’s been gnawing at me ever since. Seeing the face is so important.
Back in summer, the day when mask regulations were relaxed, I was struck while riding the bus by how happy the older generation was. Their faces were aglow with smiles, just to see other people’s faces again.
Robert, This certainly is an international phenomenon! Great to hear from Lithuania. Hang in there, and I’m confident your good attitude and efforts will make a real difference.
This resonates with me as I struggle with the conflicting desires to get in and get my goods and get out and the desire to have a small grocery store apostolate, if you will, of human connectedness. Sometimes I act on one desire and sometimes the other. I try to remind myself that the former leaves me feeling discouraged and negative about humanity and the latter, when I have put myself out there in small ways bravely (it does require bravery!) often offers hope and warmth and a reminder of goodness. And that is the power of every individual human interaction that cannot be conquered by the darkness unless we let it!
Amen, Mary T. I’m absolutely convinced that winning those small inner battles in our heart is far more powerful than we realize.
It is more than frustrating unable to recognize your neighbors/acquaintances while shopping in stores. Connection is less and less and yet to live fully we need those connections. I am bolder in masking less, trying to make connections any way I can. It is hard work but so worth it when my smile is returned by a smile behind a mask!
We do indeed need those connections, and anything we can reasonably do to foster them is well worth it!
I have decided not to participate in the mask cult. Now they are saying 2 masks, how about 13 masks, 20 masks?
I certainly understand where you are. I must also say that from where I stand, referring to it is a cult–especially when there are many people of sound mind and good character in favor of it (even if also many who have nefarious purposes)–is not helpful. I am convinced that we can and should do more to encourage civility–yes, even if we have good reason to be very concerned about deeper causes and implications.
I will just go on to say (NOT in response to you, E. Kafant) that I am absolutely shocked to see the rudeness and vitriol spewed in response to this very posting of mine (on facebook, not here). Again, I certainly have deep sympathy with the anger. But when we give unrestrained vent to this anger, then we hurt ourselves and everyone else.
Since I am alone most of the time, I relish my times after Mass, at the grocery store, walking the dog, etc. where are other people around. I make an effort to start small talk with those people I find myself standing next to. They usually have a startled look on their face like ‘Why is she talking to me!’, but then it evolves into a nice conversation, beginning with how wearing the masks makes things so difficult, which then leads in to other topics, depending on how long we are near each other. (Having grown up in a tiny town in southern IL, I am used to talking to everyone, so even before the mask-wearing began, I got a kick out of bringing up conversation to perfect strangers while standing in line at the various stores here in the busy DC-metro area. Sometimes getting them to talk was not easy, but eventually they caved. LOL)
Cathy–thank you for sharing these great examples of how you are addressing our situation! I think what you share here is an outstanding example of how one person can make a difference.
For months I have been searching for a forum in which I could express my concerns to someone who might be able to point the way forward, and then I remembered how much I appreciated this post on masks which called us to charity and civility in the midst of differences.
There are many other contentious matters, beyond masks, regarding COVID-19. I have seen many faithful Catholics (including friends and family, as well as public figures) insulting, ridiculing, and making judgements about the character, reasoning ability, and spiritual and mental health of those who disagree with them or choose to act differently.
I am finding myself more concerned about the healing of these relationships fractured by anger and/or loss of respect and trust than I am about the diminishment of COVID-19. As one who has been glad to cooperate with the guidelines of my decent pro-life Catholic governor as an act of solidarity, I feel like the odd man out among faithful Catholics with whom I have heretofore stood united on many principles of far greater gravity than whether or not I wear a mask or receive a vaccine. It is not pleasant to know that my fellow Catholics think of me as a fearful, mindless sheep, or worse.
Is there any hope that we might be able to still assume the best intentions in others and strive to see those with whom we disagree as people of good will and sound reasoning who simply disagree over a matter of prudential judgement about things that are uncertain? Or will these differences cause permanent rifts and diminishment in friendships due to the loss of a shared vision of reality?
I think your closing comment applies more broadly than just to masks. “Both how we see and how we are seen, in the daily course of life, is very much in our power. It remains largely a matter of choice, even and especially in trying times.”
Any insight or counsel would be appreciated!
Mary, Your words cut right to the core. “Is there any hope that we might be able to still assume the best intentions in others and strive to see those with whom we disagree as people of good will and sound reasoning who simply disagree over a matter of prudential judgement about things that are uncertain?” A challenging and pertinent question. What we see around us is not at all encouraging on this point. Here are a couple quick thoughts: I too am deeply disappointed in the way that people with whom I usually agree have come to very stark judgments and harsh conclusions about others in this matter. Calling all who ‘follow the guidelines’ ‘sheep’ is, in my judgment, very unproductive, to say the least. Yet I try to do here what I am hoping that they will do: I try to look through their eyes. They are angry and frustrated–and they have good reason to be. I cannot approve of the harshness of their approach, but I can sympathize with their pain, and with how they full pushed over the edge. That is a start. And then I must do precisely the same thing for those on the ‘other side.’ To be frank, I find myself uncomfortable with the approach of many people on both sides. Of course, there is little I can directly to modify their attitudes and approach. But I try to work on my attitudes and approach, and I try to be ready to speak–hopefully with humility and candor–when the situation presents itself. This is what is in my power. The rest is in God’s hands. I think you are very right to notice the damage that is being done to relationships and community. THIS must be addressed–beginning by my choosing to put first things first. Thanks much for asking.
Thank you so much for your affirmation of the legitimacy of my concerns and for your your guidance on what my approach should be. (I’m really enjoying your PL 101 class. After last night’s class, I now understand the name of your site — Life CRAFT — and am drawn to more fully engage the insights you offer here. )
You are very welcome, Mary.