There is more at stake in hospitality than meets the eye. The realm of hosting is a privileged context for discovering and enacting our human identity, which means also our divine calling. And home will always be the central place of hospitality.
Guests are sent from the gods: such is a recurring theme in Homer. This is heightened by a Christian parallel in the Benedictine tradition: Hospes venit, Christus venit. When a guest comes, Christ comes. This astounding notion, as challenging as it is thrilling, calls for close consideration. Perhaps first it makes us wonder why; why is there a close identification of guest and the divine? Why does God give us this opportunity and even demand in some sense that we receive one another in hospitality?
Surely there are rich veins of considering this from the perspective of the command to “love one another as I have loved you.” I want to consider a more humble aspect, though one certainly related to the deepest theological meaning. Hospitality in the home is a divinely ordained opportunity for a household (even be it a household of one) to discover and enact who we are precisely by ‘showing’ our guests who they are.
Here I think of a mother welcoming her baby into the world. I love to recount the life-changing experience I had (just by watching!) when my wife would speak to our just-born child. As she smiled and looked into the face of the newborn, she fairly breathed life into the child by the very warmth of her welcome. In that moment our child recognized his or her identity, and in some sense will never forget it. I am welcome; I belong; this is my home.
Hospitality is an opportunity to echo what was, or could have been, conveyed first at that moment. “You are welcome; you belong; our home is your home—even if just for a brief spell.” And in a sense hospitality can go further through added overtones. “Whoever you are, wherever you have been, whatever you have done, welcome!”
A central underpinning of the customs of hospitality that go back into the mists of pre-history is the conviction that simply by virtue of being human you are worthy of special treatment. And further, you are a wayfarer, on the way to somewhere very important. You are not at home right now, as in some sense none of us are, yet. This home of ours, even though it is not an ultimate place of rest, we want to share with you. Let us be together for a while, as we offer you what sustanence and refreshement we can.
Consider how much this means both to guests and to hosts. Consider how a child or any other member of our home learns something—as I did on those days my wife gave birth—simply by observing, or better, as invited into the rituals of offering hospitality!
In the Odyssey when Menelaos welcomes Telemakhos and a companion into his hall, Telemakhos whispers, “This is the way the court of Zeus must be, Inside, upon Olympos. What a wonder!” If he was moved first by the material splendor of the hall, countless others have had precisely such an experience through hospitality quite regardless of how posh the surroundings. Yes, material gestures, accoutrements and offerings are essential in hospitality since it is an embodied human practice. Yet as experience makes clear, it is the spirit that gives life; and so in hospitality we embrace and fortify our guests, body and soul–even if our material means are few.
“This is the way the court of Zeus must be… What a wonder!” And so we can notice again the astounding vocation of making and living in a household. Our home can be the first and uniquely powerful embodied experience–for us and for many others–of that for which we are made: heaven. For what is heaven if not a home? And what is our home, if not a foretaste of heaven? ~ ~ ~
TODAY’S PODCAST on HOSPITALITY, BEYOND PARTIES: HOSPITALITY as ESSENTIAL to HOUSEHOLD. Join Sofia and me in discussing the fuller nature of hospitality and why and how to rediscover it for the sake of fulfilling the deepest calling of the household. Find all our Intentional Household podcasts HERE.
Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.
I enjoyed this so much. One thing I try to do is to take peoples’ coats and handbags (if the choose) and hang them in a closet. I feel like I’ve really let hospitality to go since the Covid problem and you’ve inspired me to get back out there!
So glad to hear that, Monet! (And yes, little things like taking their coats and handbags has real significance.)
This article resonates with me, raised in a Mennonite home and community that shared table with each other often. When I converted to Catholicism I took the name of Priscilla as my confirmation name because of her hospitality to Saint Paul and others in the early Church.
I now work as a mental health therapist and am deeply conscious of the loneliness, not just in our secular world, but also within our church communities. Restoring hospitality to it’s integral place in our homes is a mighty mission. It helps in our evangelization work and also in bringing about the connection we all yearn for and that you allude to in this beautifully written piece. Thank you.
Thank you, Sharon! I would love to hear more some time about what it was like in your Mennonite home. And what a wonderful patron in Priscilla. May God bless your efforts.
Excellent piece! My parents of the Greatest Generation entertained frequently. It seemed that most NYC dwellers, who moved to suburbia, tried to continue their city routine of socializing. When it was their turn to host, my brother & me were on duty as greeters & wait staff. But it wasn’t until I married and had a family that I became a host myself. I grew into it and, now that I’m retired, my wife & I enjoy it all the more. It’s a form if sharing the joy of life.
Well said, Bob! And it’s a real blessing when one is introduced to it early in life!
Excellent piece! I am currently reading Radical Hospitality. My wife and I love to host a variety of things at our house, usually book clubs and movie-watching parties. I love the motto “Hospes venit, Christus venit”, that is just beautiful!