“Through pain I’ve learned
To comfort suffering men.”
Virgil, The Aeneid (Dido to Aeneas)
The incomparable Virgil once again gives us words through which to see our own life. There is a reason that in Dante’s masterpiece The Divine Comedy Virgil acts as a guide. Including to Christians.
Why do we suffer? And what good can come of it? This is rightly one of the great recurring questions in human life. It is a theoretical question, worthy of much reflection and long treatises. It is also a profoundly personal issue, arising with poignancy for each of us, more at some times than at others.
The story of Dido and Aeneas highlights, among so many other things, a gift of suffering that we can easily miss. Common experience of suffering provides one of the deepest bonds between persons. It is unique, even irreplaceable.
“Come, then, soldiers, be our guests. My life
Was one of hardship and forced wandering
Like your own…”
Immediately there is a connection, a union, a shared vantage point. Indeed, how could someone who has not known suffering—at least in some way like or comparable to yours—really know you, and be with you in your journey?
A powerful, perhaps crushing, aspect of suffering is how it can isolate. We feel pushed into a space empty of what we most need: real connection and presence with other persons.
One of the most potent lines ever spoken to me was this: “You cannot avoid suffering. But you can avoid suffering alone.” Life-changing truth. And ah, a new insight into God’s all-encompassing providence, and his astounding plan of redemption. I need never be alone in my suffering, no matter what it is. Ever.
And so we can learn to be-with another by shared sufferings, whether the very same suffering, or the same kind of suffering, or just the shared reality of any real suffering. This is something to remember, and a gift to receive, when we wonder about the meaning and purpose of the particular sufferings in our life.
Have we not come to see this: the very fact that I have undergone this precise suffering—indeed, even one I have brought on myself by my folly—has positioned me one day to be the very one who can come to another in need. And I can say: “Fear not, this need hold no terror for you. I have been there, or a place nearby. You will never be alone. Ever.”
Virgil (70-19 B.C.) is the great Roman poet, author of The Aeneid and The Georgics. In the Divine Comedy he appears as Dante’s guide through hell and purgatory.
Related reading:
- Our Only Refuge?
- The Suffering of Children
- Holiday Blues
- The Pleasure of Suffering
- Grateful for the Time: A Retrospect on My Lockdown
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I just finished reading, “Another Gift in Suffering”. You might say, I digested this little article as best I could. You see, I suffer from Pancreatic Cancer and my Wife suffers with me. My cancer was caught early, not that it makes much difference. If I am to suffer, I choose to suffer willingly, to embrace my disease along with all my struggles in order that I may join my sufferings to that of Our Lord, Jesus Christ….all things according to His Holy Will….and if it be His Holy Will that my suffering may become a “Virtue” (so that I to may bring souls back to God), surly not theological in nature but truly human in the sense that it completes my humanity as created by our God when He infused my soul into my very being when my parents acted in complete co-operation with our God’s Holy Will. In His essence, He knows me eternally and He knows my suffering and He loves me so much that He allows me to decide freely whether or not I wish to participate in His Son’s suffering.
We can all make our own decisions regarding whatever suffering we must deal with. A year ago I never considered this suffering, but now, it belongs to me and my wife…..We just suffer in different ways. However, no matter how we suffer we are all asked the same question. Will I suffer selfishly or will I suffer selflessly? Our answer may determine how we spend eternity.
KI Kerne
May God bless you and your wife. This is indeed a great suffering; but your willingness to suffer well is an inspiration and a great example. Our prayers are with you!
First, my prayers for Karl and his wife; may God grant healing & peace to you both.
Second, this is a wonderful & timely posting. The secular world is consumed with the avoidance of pain and suffering; at the same time, it will stomp its feet at the most trivial of perceived transgressions. The ability to understand and bear suffering – big or small – is a lost concept. This posting is a strong reminder that suffering has value both for the one enduring it as well as for others in this shared experience of life.
My prayers also go for Karl and his wife during his trials of suffering. I have the distinct privilege of bringing weekly Christ in the Eucharist to those suffering in hospital. Each room I visit is a sacred space that I am allowed to enter and engage in prayer to invite patients to join their suffering to the suffering of Christ on the Cross. After the trials come the fulfillment of God’s promise of eternal joy. I encounter experiences of great support and consolation with families and friends of the patients. I also encounter patients suffering in great loneliness. I only hope that I may show the courage, faith, and hope that so many of these brave souls show when I must face what they are facing.
Dr. Gary, Thank you for this beautiful reflection. You are doing a great work for the Lord, and I trust He will answer your prayers.