“My opinion is that when a wife is a good partner in the house, her contribution is just as beneficial as the husband’s. …if both of these jobs are done well the household flourishes; but if they are done badly, households suffer.”
Socrates, in Xenophon, The Estate Manager
Socrates sets his view apart from one which underestimates the contribution of a wife in a household. He also sets it apart from one which fails to see the wife’s role as unique: different from while also complementary to a husband’s.
As any good philosopher—or really any person concerned with the truth, Socrates spends his time trying to discern a wisdom that is written into reality. It’s seldom easy. Personal or cultural prejudice can get in the way, as Socrates is well aware.
The Socrates of Xenophon’s The Estate Manager is especially concerned to discern the place of woman in the household. The text is subtle, even confusing. This much is clear: the natural design for husband and wife has always been a matter for very careful consideration.
Socrates seems to begin with at least one conviction. When the power and the purpose of the natural difference between man and woman is unlocked and lived, the fruits in the household, and in all of our lives, are nothing short of stunning.
NOTE: In the next few weeks I intend to examine more closely the understanding of Xenophon’s Socrates of the place of woman in the household.
Xenophon (430-354 B.C.) was a soldier, historian, and philosopher of Athens. Like Plato he wrote dialogues featuring Socrates as a great teacher. Among these dialogues is Oeconomicus, translated as The Estate Manager, in which we get an insight into the structure and principles of the ancient household.
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Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.
Simply stated “a good wife will make you and a bad one will break you”
I repeatedly tell my children that the choice of marriage partner is probably the most important choice you will ever make. Do not enter into that contract lightly.
Thanks Dick. I certainly appreciate the sentiment of this quoted expression. I wonder, however, about the notion of a bad spouse ‘breaking’ a person. Without doubt a troubled marriage can be a crushing suffering. I wonder if we might also say that a troubled marriage might also end up ‘making’ a person. I’m just musing…
The choice of a marriage partner is very important. I’m disheartened when I see reality shows advertising “marriage in 90 days”. Nothing about the beliefs, or qualities of the person or the long term commitment. I believe living a marriage as a loving and positive example for others is a responsibility of married couples. This year my parents celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary, and my in-laws celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. Our families are so blessed!
Blessed indeed, Barbara. May God continue to bless you all.
I thought of this beautiful article in reading your recent posts and I wanted to share https://www.helenadaily.com/new-blog/2018/10/1/toh-men-temporary-title
Obviously not wisdom from the ancients, but it dovetails with your thoughts so well.
MT, I haven’t had a chance to look yet, but I’m grateful and look forward to doing so. Many thanks.
I think that was the wrong link! Sorry!
https://www.helenadaily.com/theologyofhome/2018/10/1/toh-men-temporary-title
The problem is that in our society, the lines between male and female are blurred, as if equality in value and rights is no longer enough and we must now strive to be the same.
Starting with my mother’s generation, girls are no longer taught that becoming a wife is desirable. Society no longer values the woman who puts her gifts in the service of wifing and mothering. A woman who chooses this more “traditional” role at best struggles until she can find worthiness within herself. There are very few places where she can go for validation and a pat on the back.
I wrote 2 essays to reflect on my own journey and explain how (and why), as an educated smart woman who could do anything, I’ve come to choose and honor my calling to be a wife and mother.
http://www.sarahbadatrichardson.com/the-sink-is-full-and-im-not-in-the-hall-fame-yet/
http://www.sarahbadatrichardson.com/the-girl-who-wished-to-be-a-boy/
I have now been married 20 years (happily for the last 15 ????).
I very much appreciate your writing. Aloha