This morning, I read a beautiful and practical insight about a power for good at my fingertips. The effects of kindness are disproportionately far-reaching. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced. And really encouraged.
At times the ugliness of how people treat each other can be overwhelming. It doesn’t help that the failings and weaknesses we directly experience are compounded by other misdeeds constantly paraded before us in full color under the guise of ‘news.’
So let us pause and reflect on kindness and the real difference it makes. Frederick Faber, a priest in Oxford in the nineteenth century, asserts in his treatise on kindness that there is a ‘sweet fallacy’ associated with kindness. “The very world, unkindly as it is, looks at kindness through a glass which multiplies as well as magnifies it.” His point seems to be that in kindness people find even more goodness than is there. We are moved by kindness in a way disproportionate to what was put into the act.
“The weakest kindness can lift a heavy weight. It reaches far, and it travels swiftly… What a beautiful entanglement of charity we get ourselves into by doing kind things!”
This presents an interesting philosophical problem, given the principle that effects cannot exceed what causes puts into them. But Fr. Faber’s account nonetheless seems true to experience: kindness often seems to have a ‘disproportionately’ positive effect.
I think we have a hint to the answer in the reference to “a beautiful entanglement of charity”—charity being a supernatural love. Indeed, early in his treatise Fr. Faber points to the real root of kindness: “Creation was divine kindness. From it, as from a fountain, flow the possibilities, the powers, the blessings of all created kindness.”
In our acts of kindness we tap into a transcendent Love, and this all the more to the extent that we intentionally strive to do so. This is no trick or cute turn of words. This is metaphysics; this is theology. This is the way God has ordered things. Our kindness is truly a conduit for something much deeper. A higher cause is at work in and through our kindness.
No wonder it so moves people. Have you ever wondered why an act of kindness really can ‘make a person’s day?’ That act of kindness conveys a truth of the first importance. Life is good; you are good; you are loved. But it does not primarily offer this truth as a proposition to the mind. Rather, it conveys it as a felt reality to the heart.
Practical opportunities for kindness are many. I know someone who has made a personal commitment to be especially kind to every person at a check-out counter (and even the self-checkout terminals have attendants!). An obvious area for our consideration is kindness toward people with whom we disagree. Now some people try to make kindness the only virtue or suggest that kindness somehow precludes drawing clear lines about right and wrong. They miss the mark. But their misunderstanding of kindness is not a reason to de-emphasize it. Rather, I think it is reason to lean into it.
Ultimate truths of reality call for and indeed demand that our interactions be marked by kindness. The more we see the truth, the more we have good reason to be kind, truly kind.
It would be no exaggeration—and certainly no fallacy—the next time we have an opportunity to be kind to think to ourselves: perhaps this is the moment that God wants to convey something to this person, or these people. And further, we might consider the importance of our actions by remembering the story told (whether it be just legend or not) of the American GI walking through a bombed out city in Germany in 1945. Entering a church, he came upon a statue of Our Lord from which the hands had been blown off. And taking up a piece of chalk he scribbled at the base, “I have no hands but yours.” ~ ~ ~
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Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.
Pay it forward, and, if necessary, be the one to start it.
And know how to receive it…
Amen Bob and Kmbold!
I highly recommend a book called ” the hidden power of kindness” by lawrence lovasik. I think I have highlighted every page. Very convicting, practical, and hopefully life changing. One practical result from the
book was that I adopted a whole kindness routine when I go to Costco. Park further away, take in a cart from the parking lot. Smile at everyone I encounter (which results in some funny reactions), buy something extra for the food box at church, and give way to all, including the”speedsters” when going around the store. It makes the whole Costco experience pleasurble.
Wow, Mike, that’s a fantastic routine we all can emulate in our own situations. Thanks for sharing it. I too really recommend Fr. Lovasik’s book; interestingly, I think he took much of his inspiration from Fr. Faber’s treatise.
just the brightness needed on a dreary day … on point as usual
Thank you, John, very glad to hear that.
‘effects cannot exceed what causes put into them’…ah. whose principal is that? does this statement negate a ripple effect, or am I missing something here? In any event, the chalked comment “I have no hands but yours’ almost brings this hardened greybeard to tears. As I stumble forward learning my Christian Catholic faith, I recognise the newness I find in the scriptures, the Lord’s message.
Thanks. edk
Thanks, Edward. Regarding that principle–it is one generally enunciated by philosophers; but it can be misleading. The principle does allow for more than one cause to be active at the same time. For instance, in my trying to form my children, there are other causes in play too, beyond just my causality. A ‘ripple effect’ is possible in a couple of ways: for starters, one effect of a prior cause can turn and become a cause of another effect, and so on. Also, what one cause brings about in an effect might prompt that effect to become amenible to the influences of other good causes. Thanks for asking.
“effects cannot exceed what causes put into them”
I initially thought about this like thermodynamics. An object in the oven is not going to get hotter than the oven. In that case the above is measurably true. When it comes to kindness, if the cause (ultimately) is God, well, we’re never going to exceed Him in kindness (or anything good), so it’s still true. Does this make sense?
Thank you, John and Sofia, for all you do for the world. Your ripples are going far and wide!
Yes, that does make sense! And God’s kindness is a cause that can supercharge our own kind actions. Thank you, Gretchen.
Where is the “like” button for the post? 🙂
🙂 thank you!
Thanks
Very welcome!
We had Chinese take out last night to celebrate our anniversary and because the kid home from Christendom requested it also. In my fortune cookie was the following verse “Your kindness will leave a lasting impact.” Thanks as always for these wonderful reflections that allow us to stop and think about what our priorities in life really should be. We can all do a better job of being Kind!
We all sure can work on this. And, wow, that cookie verse is a good one!
Thank you for helping me understand and appreciate what kindness is and to be more aware that it is always there to be given and received. Grateful.
So grateful too to hear that, Teresa!
East Idaho News has done a Secret Santa program for over 10 years and they post episodes on YouTube. An anonymous wealthy man provides funds every year to give to nominated needy people and families and it is so encouraging to watch these episodes and the reactions of those who receive the gifts. So often, the people say they are not worthy and they promise to pay it forward. These gestures have encouraged me to try to be kinder in my life and then I stumbled across your post and it was such an affirmation. Thank you!
And thank you for sharing this lovely tradition from eastern Idaho! Just to hear about raises one’s spirits.
What do your readers think? A person standing at an the intersection has a sign held up “Please help me I need to eat.” I’m feeling conflicted.
As you mention “I have no hands but your.” I have a desire to be “kind” and put a few dollars in the cup as I pass (If I have cash). If I don’t I have a nagging feeling of guilt for not doing so, even if I have some cash. so goes the argument in my head. What is the truly “kind” and “prudent” response? There are help services in town they could reach out to? I pray about it asking the Lord, Ok How do you want me to be “your hands”? I discuss with other Christian friends, who admit having the same conflict resolved by deciding it’s not kind to give in these situations as the person may buy drugs with the money. Another I would buy a meal, but best not to give money. Then I think (thank you Jesus,) What’s my intention? can “feel” good about myself giving ( self-validated) but disconnected vs seeking ways of connecting with person who has a need in a relational way? Maybe “giving” as some mentioned, in other ways. Thank you, John, your article provoked a recent experience that was on my mind. So I am praying for that person and those in need like that person on the corner.
Sharon–my thought for you is that I think you’re in a great place. There is no way around the fact that showing kindness to needy people on the street has become a much more complicated affair. Everything you share here makes sense. You can feel like you’re just trying to justify yourself, but in reality you probably are not. Rather, you really are acting with prudence, doing your best to use your reason about how best to serve these people. Yes, let us keep trying to purify our intention, and keep praying that the Lord help us to be His hands in ever better ways. In the end, we are doing our best to do His work; and surely He will show us the way. Thanks so much.