There is always a reason for the way things are, even when this is not apparent. An easily missed aspect of the natural order of household life offers a standout example of this truth. In short, the things we must do to address our bodily needs offer a perfect context to address our higher needs too. What might seem ho-hum at first shows itself on closer examination to be breathtaking.

An obvious example is our need for food. This universal, unchanging feature of human life gives form to life in the home. Aristotle says that the household is “the association established by nature for the supply of men’s everyday needs.” As an indication of this he notes that other Greeks call the members of the household ‘companions of the cupboard’ or ‘companions of the manger.’ Indeed, nothing more clearly delineates those people we share a daily life with than that we eat together.

And behold, it is at meals, as we tend to bodily needs, that we live out our deepest convictions about the meaning of life. At table much of the formation of the young takes place. I do not mean that meal-time is some kind of consciously constructed school; though especially today, as meal-time practices are threatened and diminished, an intentional approach is quite in order. Eating together intrinsically calls for an elaboration of forms that express and cultivate the highest human inclinations. Human eating has functioned in this way transculturally.

Our nature demands that we eat. It likewise demands—just as insistently even if not as obviously—that we spend significant time in bodily, rational presence, and that we cultivate gratitude, respect, moderation, justice, patience, etc. All these demands go hand in hand. And attention to them reveals that by a natural plan the whole realm of eating is the perfect daily context for addressing this whole range of daily human needs.

Another example that has struck me of late is the ‘back end,’ as it were, of infant digestion. (I pass over, by the way, another astounding aspect of the divine plan, that breast feeding is at once the best bodily nourishment as well as psychological and spiritual nourishment—often for mother and certainly for baby.) An infant’s bowels and bladder move regularly throughout the day, even while the infant is utterly incapable of doing so sanitarily on its own. In other words, this natural situation simply demands that something answering to the name of ‘diapers’ be regularly changed by someone else.

This is no accident (pun intended). Someone needs to hold and to handle that baby—oh so gently, yet also firmly. Again, and again, every day, for at least a couple of years, loved ones are on the hook to take care of baby’s diapers.

I will say something that I think many parents will understand. I now find myself longing for the times I changed my children’s diapers. At least in my better moments, I looked into their eyes; often they looked back, with total trust. Perhaps I sang to them, or said a little ditty. Often they smiled—as if there were no issue at all, no smell to be noticed. And there we were together. For a moment or two, it was as though there was nothing else in the world. Then off we went.

The funny thing is that even now as I started to write this, I was thinking of how changing diapers is a perfect moment to tell our children, directly and face to face, who they are. How they are loved. But in this writing, through my tears, I realize how much it was I too who needed those moments. And how my children actually told me, about who I am.

God’s plan is always better than we have yet realized. Always. ~ ~ ~

LATEST PODCAST: A MAN’S PART IN HOUSEWORK. Are dishes, laundry, and cleaning more of a woman’s work? Is it important for men to do such work in the home? If so, why? Join John and Sofia in considering an important and challenging aspect of making a household today. Find all our Intentional Household podcasts HERE.

Annual BETHANY WEEKEND: Rediscovering Human Nature: Principles for Thriving in an Inhuman Climate, August 2-3. SPECIAL FREE TICKETS FOR ONE COUPLE: due to the generosity of a benefactor, we have two tickets to offer to a couple for whom the cost would prevent attendance. Please apply HERE.

LIFECRAFT DAY at the BARN! ‘Doing Music and Dance Right in Our Homes and Communities.’ Come join us IN PERSON on July 19 and get a whole new perspective on music in the home, dancing at weddings, schools, and youth groups, and more! Due to a generous donor, tickets including dinner ONLY $10/person. Information and Registration HERE

John Cuddeback

Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.