“But a natural desire cannot be in vain.”
Thomas Aquinas, Summa theologiae
For those of us with some length of life experience, Christmas comes to be associated with suffering—whether our own or that of others we know. Christmas depression is proverbial, and it is real.
At this time of year we want to be together with the people we love. And the simple truth of the matter is that often enough there is something that comes between us and them, Causes of separation are many—everything from moral and religious differences or other disagreements, to physical distance or death.
Surely Christmas brings these realities home to us most strongly especially because at Christmas our deepest desires are most present to us. Indeed just two days ago I heard a young adult commenting: “This year I’m trying to recapture the Christmas of my youth.”
In this aspect of Christmas we come face to face with the deepest issues of human existence—or in any case we can, if we are courageous enough to consider them.
Perhaps we tend to avert our eyes, and keep plowing forward in the hurly burly of our observances, in fear of what we might find if we take too hard a look.
Thomas Aquinas, following the thought of Aristotle, makes a remarkable assertion. The natural desire of the human heart cannot be in vain. There is much in this assertion.
This much at least is implicit. The very reality of the profound and universal experience of human longing for a deeper connection with one another, intertwined with the longing for a deeper connection with the divine, is a clear indication that such a longing can be fulfilled.
What to many people might seem naïve and unrealistic is actually rooted in a profound experience of human life, and of the natural world around us. It calls for more reflection.
This time of year many if not all of us will have occasion to wonder about the solidity of human existence, and whether Thomas Aquinas’s confidence is well-founded or not. I for one am convinced that Christmas depression, or even just longing in whatever form it takes, is a unique opportunity to learn an astounding lesson about the meaning of it all.
Merry Christmas.
Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) is considered one of the greatest of medieval theologians. He called Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) ‘the Philosopher’ and wrote commentaries on all his major works.
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While this pop song isn’t overtly religious and uses Santa as a cipher for God, I think it does capture at least one aspect of what you’re getting at in talking about Christmas depression or wistfulness, and the inner work that such feelings invite. Thank you again for directly and concisely discussing things that matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AN8wPCJSTwA
Thank you, Newton.
Dr. Cuddeback,
For the past several years, I have often experienced overwhelming depression during the Christmas season. It leaves me feeling profoundly isolated, so I really appreciate that you’ve drawn awareness to this reality in your post. It’s comforting to know not only that I’m not as alone as I thought, but that there is a legitimate reason for the pain.
Buon Natale!
MaryRita, You are indeed not alone. My hope and prayer is that you will realize that and FEEL it more and more, even and especially in this season.
Beautiful reflection. Thank you.
You are welcome, David.
I am always torn between the spiritual joy of the season, the memories of those in the past, the desire to bring happiness to those who have less by providing material gifts, and the internal pressure I place on myself to buy “things” for even my dear loved ones. All these feelings are at odds with one another. Therefore, I don’t feel I do any of them with the fullness of my true self. You can’t be a dove to two masters, and the end result for me is isolation, as someone else mentioned. My most peaceful day indeed was December 26th. Thank you.
Ana, Thank you so much for sharing this. I can relate to every single thing you say here. I wonder whether a path to dealing is to realize that we need not be torn by these different things. I must say this: in reading your words one thing is very clear to me: your loving heart is at the root of every sentiment you are feeling. That is the common thread. So in the end, perhaps there really need not be a tension, even though these different things vie for our attention and they rush in upon us in succession. Even as we keep striving to put first things first, we still have to attend to many little things. But more and more we will be purified, and things will fall into their place, as we keep striving to be faithful. Thank you again.
Thank you, John for your precious insights.
And thank you Joan for your kind words.
It has been such a gift to me in these last few months to read your insightful reflections. Each one of them has struck a chord and they have inspired much food for thought. Thank you for taking time to write and please know that your musings are very appreciated! A Blessed Christmas Season to you and your family.
Karen, Thank you very much for these kind words and wishes! A very blessed Christmas season to you and yours too.