Having truly good fun is a virtue. This might seem to undermine the very notion of fun by making it a serious matter. Yet here we can discover once again that right-thinking always brings out the true richness of human life.
Thomas Aquinas has a subtle and beautiful understanding of the place of play or fun for everyone, not just children. It is worth considering a few features of it. Play/fun/amusement—here we can use the words interchangeably—refers to activities that are pleasurable and thereby bring a certain ‘rest’ to the soul. Just as the body needs rest, so the soul needs rest in order to apply itself well to the richer activities of life. Play is not one of the richest activities, but it has its place, especially in view of higher things.
Here one might object: but is it really ‘fun’ or ‘play’ if it is intentionally done in light of higher things? Won’t that very intentionality and consequent ‘seriousness’ cast a sort of pallor over it? As in: “Alright now, let’s focus and make some really good fun!”
This is important; and I speak as someone guilty of the very problem in question: undermining fun by straining at it. But of this I am confident: the mistake was not in having an intentional approach; the mistake was in how I strained and was anxious.
Those who really have an art make it look natural. Indeed, this is because for them it has become natural, arising from the heart. For the one trying to gain an art, it often doesn’t look natural for the simple reason that it isn’t—at least not yet.
But that is not a reason to stop trying. It’s a reason to try better and not be anxious. Aquinas gives us three things to bear in mind about play as we try to develop the virtue of doing it well. Here are those three.
1. The pleasure of play should not be sought in anything inappropriate or indecent.
It seems there is a simple insight here born of experience, that when we turn to play we often lower our standards. Precisely because play is not so serious we take an ‘it-doesn’t-really-matter’ approach and descend to the banal, frivolous or even outright indecent. Cicero warns against the playful becoming “discourteous, insolent, scandalous, obscene.”
The intentional person begins with a conviction that in all our actions we should be true to who we are; we should act in a way becoming to a human person, a child of God. Our play is no exception.
2. Play should not undermine “the ‘gravitas’ of our mind.”
‘Gravitas’ means appropriate seriousness and dignity. Here again we bump up against a crucial point. Are seriousness and dignity at odds with fun? I suggest a different angle. Somehow, it is precisely the rightly serious and dignified man that can really enter into and indeed ‘make’ fun as no one else can. Our challenge, and ultimately our great joy, is to learn how to do this.
Aquinas proceeds to quote another great line from Cicero: “Our very fun should reflect something of an upright mind.” How glorious. Somehow fun itself is imbued with righteousness! Cicero’s latin indicates that uprightness literally shines through in the fun. Not only does such play not undermine dignity, it magnifies it, even as it is the most fun kind of fun.
3. Play should “befit the hour and the man,” again words from Cicero.
Here Aquinas shows that our fun or play varies according to circumstances of time, place, and condition of participants. Of course it should; and so again this is why there is an art and virtue—a right understanding and practice—of discerning just how this works in daily life.
Having good fun is not only fitting. It is necessary. It is part of who we are—or in any case of who we should be. The surest proof of this is in the great men and women who have done it, and are doing it still. Truly good fun. We can join them. ~ ~ ~
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One of the most truly fun and positively moving experiences of my life happened at your property. You with your family and a group of your students all stood together around a nighttime campfire singing songs of worship. “Father I Adore You” (in the 3 groups!) and “Country Roads” come to mind. And I was most emphatically not a singer at that time, but even I couldn’t help joining in that gloriously fun and good time! The Father I Adore You especially has always stuck with me.
Wow; it’s nice to have a common great memory like that. Simple things can offer a profound experience of ‘fun.’ Thanks Tommy!
Now you’re taking me back in time, thanks for the reminder!
I came of age (high school, college & law school) in the 1970s. There was plenty of social upheaval, political high jinks, etc. going on but it was a great time to grow up. The majority of Boomers it seems, were trending liberal but my circle of friends pretty much stayed in a traditional mode. And, most importantly, had similar upbringings and educations whether public or Catholic. We read mostly classics in school, knew our civics, had summer jobs, and looked forward to adulthood. Guys and girls wore jeans, sneakers, and construction boots. Girls wore little makeup and the knit huckapoo shirt was about as racy as the girls got in my circles. And, to your point, we had the best times out on dates or in a group.
Eighteen was the drinking age. Yes, sometimes people had too much. But since it was legal at a younger age and many parents (mine included) let us drink one beer or glass of wine with them at age 16 to learn its proper place, binging was unheard of. Invariably, out on a date or in a group, there came a time when a weightier issue came up for discussion. We shared opinions and then moved on to a lighter topic e.g. who’s going to the beach tomorrow! In short, we were navigating into being grownups.
What was really nice was that sex was still referred to, even in rock & roll songs, as making love. The reality that the sex act was biological and geared towards reproduction kept most of us within the realm of kissing. And what a relief that was. There was no pressure to be someone you weren’t ready to be. We got to mix with the opposite sex without a care in the world other than to enjoy the beach, play tennis perhaps, see a movie, or just hang out in a park or the front stoop of your date’s house. The age of innocence may have been fading fast but we enjoyed it.
It was that pure enjoyment of another’s company that ultimately taught me how to find a wife, my wife!
Thanks for a lovely trip with you to an earlier time, Bob!
Thank you for sharing this.
Thankyou
You’re very welcome.
I love this line below. It reminds me of the reason we often invite people to come join us in square dancing at our friends farm through out the course of the dancing season. I would add my own favorite quote that I came up with after one dance held to celebrate some seasonal birthdays in our catholic circle of friends here in eastern Ct. “ it’s by far the cheapest and most clean fun you can enjoy for 2-3hrs at any given time.” Our family has benefited greatly from the years of square dancing and the amusement it brings us and the people we meet and whose company we enjoy.
“Having good fun is not only fitting. It is necessary. It is part of who we are—or in any case of who we should be. The surest proof of this is in the great men and women who have done it, and are doing it still. Truly good fun. We can join them”
I love it, Teddy. Where has all the square dancing gone? Surely we can recover it.
Here in eastern Ct it’s been making quite a comeback since the end of COVID. Our caller friend Rich tells us he not been this busy since he started almost 30+ years ago. Like a lot of things now a days the younger generation is rediscovering the beautiful & sacred, just like with all the ancient Latin liturgy. Christendom and college like it have really done a great job helping this younger generation understand that they don’t have to settle for lesser thing but as you say “ living the good life” to its fullest!
I couldn’t help but think of a quote (which makes me think of my grandpa when he was alive) after reading this article. “We don’t quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing.” My grandpa never quit playing! As always, I appreciate how you bring out some of the subtleties of a concept as large as “fun/play” and lead me to deeper personal reflection. Thank you!
Thank you, Joe. And thank you for this insight and example of your grandpa’s life!